THE BREATH

Breath is the source of life; it’s as simple as saying no breath, no life. All body mind systems are in someway based on the breath. Breath is the primary way to move energy.

BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are a way of defining the sense of self. Boundaries are not an idea, but rather an energetic quality felt in the body. Boundaries function for the self like a cell membrane functions for the cell. They help to regulate what goes in and out of the system. It's a way to differentiate between the Me and the Not Me, between what is outside and what we hold inside. When we literally draw a circle around us, past the body itself, we can begin to get in touch with the energetic space we need moment to moment.

THE SENSE OF SELF

As we gain a clearer experience of a boundary we are able to connect more easily to the bodily felt sense of self. We encourage this through the practice of embodiment. By embodiment we mean bringing all out attention and awareness to each part of the body, one part at a time. In this practice of mindfulness we learn to inhabit ourselves in our bodies in a more clearly present manner.

THE MIND BODY EQUATION

We can't get out of our heads in our heads. For that reason most primarily verbal therapies only, can be quite limited. They have no real way to enter the pre-verbal ground of experience, since the first three years of development are non-verbal. By practicing the breath with awareness we help ourselves be more in our bodies in a consciously felt way and thus almost automatically we can find ourselves less in our heads. In that sense it is just like an equation.

CHARACTER STYLES OF RELATING

Character styles are defensive habitual patterns of relating that are built in response to the way we were related to in our childhoods. Character styles are either invasion based or abandonment based. When we are more on the invasion based end, our boundaries are more built up like think walls. They are hard to penetrate. In effect that are saying "Don't come too close - stay away." In the opposite regard, when our defensive style is more abandonment based, our boundaries are more porous. They are much easier to enter. In effect that are saying, “Don’t leave me, you are too far away.” A self-boundary is the place we can learn to come to where we feel neither abandoned or invaded, and from that place we can experience ourselves in relation to others and the world from a different viewpoint.

PUTTING THE IMPORTANT FIGURES OUT

Once we have established a firmer sense of a boundary, we can start to place outside of our space all the important figures in our lives (mom, dad, siblings, friends, etc.) past and present. At that point we begin to tell each one what we have really been thinking and feeling about them, without concern for retribution. From that safe place we can start to express ourselves more freely and honestly and get in touch with and release what we’ve been holding inside all along.

SAYING AND FEELING OUR TRUTH

As we begin to speak our truth to all these important figures, all kinds of feelings start to bubble to the surface. We are then able to connect to many of the resentments, and all the feelings of anger and sadness, that have been harbored within. As we express ourselves more fully, we are surprised to notice how much better we can feel.

PUTTING OUTSIDE THE INTROJECTS (INTERNALIZED CRITICS)

So much of the time we all walk around with negative voices in our heads in the form of doubt, worry, fear, judgement, perfection, and so on. It can be difficult to place these thoughts outside because they happen in our heads, more than the actual important figures. As we begin to place each internalized character outside our space by using such techniques as chair work, a kind of ‘theater of the self,’ and role-playing, we can start to talk back to each of these voices. We start to experience being more separate from them, and thus achieve increased agency in relation to them, gaining more of our power back.

CORE EMOTIONAL WORK

It takes an equal amount of energy to hold energy in. So much of what we hold in our bodies as tension in our muscles and psyches are about holding in our anger. And of course so much of this comes from our childhoods. Through various psycho-physical exercises we have an opportunity to discharge and allow out some of these energies. By simply hitting pillows and allowing out sounds and finding the simple phrases that describe the feelings we have, in a safe way, we are better able to release what has been pent up. Surprisingly we notice how much better we can feel.

BREATHWORK AND BODYWORK

In activating the breathing in a more expanded way we build what's called a charge, which is an increase in energy. We then discover where the flow of energy is blocked. Sometimes we find the blocks around the eyes, in the throat area, in the chest area, in the solar plexus, in the abdomen, and around the pelvis down to the legs. These are all energy centers not unlike chakras. At this point we can utilize various techniques of bodywork derived from such methods as shiatsu, deep tissue, neuromuscular, and gentle release work of the joints. As some of these energetic blocks open we can feel a stronger pulse of energy flow and aliveness in our total body/mind.

THE CLIENT/PRACTITIONER ALLIANCE

The relationship between client and practitioner is what is most present in the room. It is where the self/other dynamic, and the bodily felt sense of self, while being with another, can be studied and slowed down.

SHUTTLING

Shuttling is a form of body based mindfulness practice in relationship. By practicing shuttling we begin to notice what it feels like to come out and make contact with the other and when we start to loose ourselves in the contact. As we notice this we can come back to home base. To go out and to come back, over and over. We learn what that feels like in our bodies so we so we are able to respond to what feels right, moment to moment. This can be a road towards learning to be in a relationship in a more autonomous and healthy way.

REGULATION AND TOLERATION

As we learn through the breathing to feel more, more angry feelings, more sad feelings, more good feelings, we learn to expand and in that way we are better able to tolerate whatever we are feeling. And in that way we are more able to connect to an authentic experience of who we are. Feelings are energies felt in the body. The more we can expand, the more we can hold. And therefore the more we can feel.

THE CHILD

All of us are carrying the younger parts of ourselves inside of us all the time, including everything that we have ever experienced. As we start to open, we begin to connect to various ages and memories that we can learn to stay with. At this point many times all kinds of sad and hurtful feelings from our childhoods can come up. We learn to be with this whole realm of feeling in a gentle and compassionate way. This is how we learn to love ourselves.

THE CARETAKER

Caretaking is a big characteristic that many of us carry, we find ourselves feeling responsible for how other feel. We are there for them more than we are there for ourselves. Many times this element is a defensive shield, which covers over our own needs, it is a way to exert power and control, but we wind up feeling a lot of resentment. This pattern is usually learned in our families when we are are young. As we become more aware of this pattern we can can step out of this role, and relate from a more authentic place.